"VICTIM WITH MY OWN CHOICE"

I was awaken by the loud ring of the phone; (sigh) I hate waking up early but then the caller must be too persistent, it keeps on ringing. I sigh again and pick the phone. He calls in the middle of the dawn to tell me story that I never thought it would be more painful than it is. For about 30 minutes I was shock and all I did was listening; and that was the first time in my whole life that I did.

                                          

Hello, are you still there? He asks with a little crack on his voice I nodded and then realizing that I was asked someone by the phone then I said silently “yes”.

 

I just wanted to be honest with you Jeh, he said it again. Well when I know that you already have a Boyfriend, I sadly said to Him (no need to name names) that I was damn stupid for letting it happen being near too you is an advantage yet pass it by was the craziest thing I did, but I guess it shows that were not for each other and you let me learn a lesson that made me realize things.

As much as I wanted to let him stop, I have the will to listen that even it hurts I wanted to know what’s with him that makes my day as heavy as clouds outside the window, he continues as I am frantically breathing.

You make me realize that being to insecure can make and break me and I have lost the most important person in life.

 In that words the tears started to fall, I guess this is it! Oh how I hope he never learned such lesson, oh I hope he never had that courage to tell me; but then it’s all happening.

 

Then I ask, what did you mean? Why are you telling me all these stuff? With hesitant he answers. Well, after learning that we can’t be together I tried hard to change direction and accept it, He told me you already know what I felt, I realize last night that I have to move forward for I had already someone.

 

 I pause for awhile and think his what? He had someone? Gotcha! His making it hard for me, I silently cry and told him.

 Ah ok, that’s good, I know that you’re only thinking about the friendship and his also thinking about it too.  “Jeh” he calls my name again, and it sounds like an angel when he utters those three letters of my name.

 

I don’t know how it ended, I can’t tell how it hurts, and it is just like yesterday that I know he felt something then now his telling that he learned so he grabs every opportunity that he had. 

The gap will always be there the friendship will never stay the same.

 

As I sit by here what I learned that I never waited, if I just waited for a long time if I just don’t give up, there must be possibility.

 

What makes people more sentimental and sad is the thought that memories are the only thing that never changes when everything else does. And what are hard to erase is the memories that keeps on haunting and the unanswered “what if” in life.

 

I am the Victim of my own choices, and I what is hard is when I walk away I thought he would run after me. But then he decides to stop and I was left affected. 

If only I just wait, it must be a dream come true. Well, I am thinking their right; the best way to loose a friend is to tell him that you love him.

 

This is a typical story that sometimes we overlooked, we keep on finding for something too magical then there we realize that sometimes its making an illusion that in the middle of the madness we get to see that the one who we really dream is the one whose been there with us for such a long time; and then we taken them for granted that’s the irony of life and love itself.

 

 We were blinded of those frogs we kissed that we believe our price charming and we wait for the wrong prince for we extremely believe that they just go around finding the foot that fits the glass slipper, seeing the irony isn’t it?