The individual I avoided too much is the person I’ll be dealing with! I face people; I never leave a hanging situation with everyone. I always told my self that confrontation is better than keeping silence, but this time is different I don’t want to see him for I maybe hurt million times again.
All people judge me as what they see me, but they never understand how I felt about the turning back with out the closure.
Now; I never thought that the day I’ve hated, the day that the truth will be mapped out to my face is the day that I consider the most depressing day.
As I pass by that familiar street, I prayed harder that he’ll not see me and I wont see him; does God really hated me? I saw him as he saw me. I started to feel the pain once again I find place to hide or even do the fastest walk; but too much of my dismay a common friend call up and I was left with no choice but stay and wait for them to go nearer.
As our friend talks, I never dreamed to interrupt! But the silence of both of us makes the creepy feeling go farther. Seconds later he breaks the unbeatable silence. (manglibre si****di ka mo kuyog) as he says that he look @**** in eyes. I don’t want to be coward, but the funniest thing hope keeps my head nod.
I walk with them; my friend keeps on talking to pound the uneasiness. Near by we saw a food shop, we take our sits and my friend offer to order so the silence keeps on going.
He stares @ me. He asks me (kumusta?) the most exploited answer was I’m fine (okay rah) Jel, sorry…….the word I never thought he’ll be uttering at that moment, for god sake! Its decades when he calls me Jel, when He talks to me, I just look @ his eyes but the pain that was been haunting doesn’t hurt that much….I told him, okay rah to oi, lets forget about it but I know deep with in I don’t want to forget.
After that 2 minutes of talks, we started eating, friend ask if where am I going, I told them that I’ll be heading home unexpectedly he said to friend that he’ll be going home too and he looks at me and said lets go with a smile.
Crazy thing is the smallest hope goes bigger not only in second but microsecond.
The world goes round, my world is shaking! He asks for us to talk, I nod to confirm to keep the story shorter; he explain the reason, he gives me the painful truth.
His having a wonderful relationship, his living with her and he confirms that he looks at me as a sister. (toinks)
All those crazy times, all those crazy deeds we only lack one thing right communication.
But I still wish we never bumped with each other, that I never new the truth, in that I have the reason to say I am in love….I’ll had the finest person to blame why I cant move on. I don’t know what’s next but somehow relieve……..
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