Dying To Have

Ever since I’m dying to have all the sweets in the world and I love to have everything; from cakes, ice cream and chocolates ever! 

But then my health deprive me to have it all? how could be the world so wonderful if i don’t have all the sweets i love most? life without sweet is such 

an unfair world! [diabetes is such a sad health ailment] then i thought: It’s like loving something you can’t have and it’s not good for you.

such a broken heart; why everything had its limitation?

a poem for you....

Farther

 

On the far side of failure,

Beyond the path of rejection

Far past the ghost

Of Doubt and dejection.

 

Just a bit farther,

Than life’s toughest question

Over the stream running

After each lost discerning

 

Farther along than the extra smile

Floating farther than the lovely isle

Over chasm deep where things seems worst,

Through hardened deserts overcome by thirst.

 

The road traveled less lies the hidden valley

Of massive success.

"CIrcUmstances"

Circumstances

 

            When I was a child I love life because of its simplicity, I was driven into a realization that life is a matter of living it the way I want it to be, but as the time goes by, I never expected that it would be more than a simple in the sense that a caterpillar not just bloom into a beautiful butterfly, more than simple because everything change in the way there are; everybody grows old, thinking of how to handle life’s complexities.  Unpredictable the only thing I notice through experiences I had.

           

            In life there are also decisions made that changes my life to a different circumstances bad or good; in every life’s situation there are the scene that I get hurt, but sometimes it is the reason why my personality boost, it is personal decisions that matters. Choosing something when I was older enough is difficult; it’s not like choosing flavors of ice cream or choosing of pair of shoes and toys when I was in my childhood time.  Making decision and choosing change when I grow older, I got a hard time to make decision because there are still this circumstances that I had to consider, I take each step as an interaction between my mind and heart.

 

            Whatever life give us, complication, dream, fantasy one thing I must considered and remembered that the child once I am are still in my heart. 

 

So there no way to feel unhappy because I once live the simple and uncomplicated life………..

"HiGh ScHoOl BaRkAdA"

we shared moments...since high school.....

then till the day one of us take a vow and live a life a family life...were still solid we know that.......

Once I had only happy days ahead of me

Not a single gloom can penetrate 

my spirit

Because I had the group of friends who stood by me

Always making me feel I am somebody.

So I wandered along for years

In a school full of strangers who care nothing

About me

Hoping against hope to dear God almighty

To give me strength to strive for something.

 

And the day on I got to know an angels

Who’s been my companion since then until now,

God introduce me to a group

A group of very smart people that I hardly knew

I was so scared, as scared as I can be like a

Hungry mouse caught in a trap.

But all of you welcome me with open arms

 

Together with the batch and from the day on I hardly cried

For deep inside I feel like I can fly.

 

Sheena, Jessah, Blesyl, Jean

All four of them are exotic beauty

They greet my grouchy mornings

With their serene smiles and melodious hellos.

Physics which is my most hated subject became so much fun with contagious best Jessah

Who never seems to stop laughing when everyone is always game.

 

Then there’s Jean, the clown of the group who never fail to make us laugh

Accompanied by eg2x who’s an action makes us laugh more and more.

 

When it comes to a partner, it’s a tandem of me and Blesyl

If you want to know what’s the love story today don’t forget to call 

us everyday.

 

Model for snapshots is not a problem anymore

If you have Sheena in the store because she always have the angelic beauty available for camera when it starts to roll.

 

 

I finally realize GOD has given me the most

Wonderful of friends

Who make me feel at peace and cherished at last

Upon this poem inspired by them all truly. 

My most wonderful summer

With the Calinawan Family

with LuvZ Rica
with the boys
new found friend LL and ejun
with the little bro raymound
with ate and little franz

I never been so happy as it is, i experience the things i never did before, even my sun burn is hurtng i still love the beach anyway and the fun with the new friends!

"UnDer Conctrution"

I am under construction; I need a little fixing and renovations....

 

Somehow I learned my lesson; I think this would be better for me.i dont have regrets do in doing such decisions.

 What a great world it is and be wasted as it is. Somehow I am experiencing the nicest history of my life; suffering from rejections and maybe the fixing will be quite hurting but it’s for the better. 

 

I deserve the hurtful words, maybe I’ll be fine next week, next month I’ll be fine, I will find the place I should belong perhaps I still don't no where. being so stupid and cold hearted was not great at this moment but this is life after all overwhelming pain is too bad for the heart condition that I had, still I stick to the two words "I’m sorry" and even it still injure the heart of the other party prayers still have reason to heal the impossible things to be heal....thanks a lot

 

Love jeh.

 

P.S. I’ll be glad to write something again but for now let the injury of everybody heal not by our time but in god’s time. Preferably I am not saying goodbye to this blog after all this is the avenue of what my heart desire most but next time I’ll be back and I’ll be able to forgive others and especially myself. Thanks for the understanding and I’ll be treasuring that all through out.

 

Meantime this Blog will have its own time to injure the pain of life.

 

But for sure I’ll be back. In time......

"THE TUNE OF MY LIFE"

Every song no matter how beautiful it is will have to end on its last note; like everyday has its night all that has started will have to end in its own time.

              Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes we vision only clears after our eyes are washed away with tears.

I am the one who bids goodbye, I am the one who loose the grip and stop holding on.  I felt the relief of saying goodbye but then I still have the heavy heart for hurting someone who makes difference in my life.  I maybe right, when I found out the answer to my question why? I maybe addicted to the pain of wanting somebody I cant have that’s why I can’t move forward where I should belong.

I am just so thankful for he let free my wings and finds my place where I belong.

Yeah, nothing really is permanent in this word and not even the love we cherished would be with us forever, there’s no guarantee about love and getting risk is still the final answer but then we have to take chances to find our self first and learn what really love means.

 

But then somehow along the way, the saying “no pain no gain” is still applicable in my life right now